published on: feb 22, 2026
author:seek and tell
its been a month since practicals got over. i wrote the last one a day before computer science labs and now after a month and 8 days later, im done with my first board exam, physics onto the next, chemistry. however its not all butterflies and rainbows. im in hell. i miserably failed my preboard 1's, rewrote preboard 2's with lesser prep time and still couldnt manage it well despite grinding so much and fucked that up. lost all my confidence cause of physics but the main board exam was reassuring though i made quite a few mistakes and now im scared for osm. rn since i didnt completely get the admit card, i have a preboard 2 tomorrow which is actually so bad. im contemplating life while making my dad get stressed and angry about me, my mom crying and of course my sister who i saw chatting all about me to her friend in sympathy or some bullshit like that. im stuck at the crossroads thinking, will i get a good percentage?/will i get into a good uni. i mean i have gotten offers but college seems distant since none of my parents are overjoyed about me getting into anything. ntu was a dream school but with the current boards, that also seems distant.
dont ask me how chem's going cause even that is shit. legit just got told my tuition teacher aim for a decent percentage and in school nisha maam is a whole lot worse trying to demotivate me. besides all this i skipped grad cause i figured at the end of the day, i practically became a puppet in the hands of the public in highschool which is pretty shit ngl. what i wont forget is the handshake and the hug that my physics teacher snehil sir gave me, the morning of boards when everything seemed scary. that and after the exam when he was happy for me. ill never forget him since he isnpired me to think like an engineer.
theres no one to thank really in this one. really just trying to agree with whats going on around me and im trying to process that. in a month however, all of this will be over and ill think what the heck happened. but that's just part of life. and as for my colleges, maybe ill get into good places or i wont but it doesnt matter since all of this was mistakes made that cant be fixed rn but can avoided in the future.
that’s it for today. i need to get back to amines. i promised to write everyday but i just couldnt do it. ill try to atleast after chem is over, sharing my review about it. after english i plan on relaxing and studying cs since it has a 2 week prep time and maybe during that time ill do a hackathon or something. thanks for reading my rant session if you made it till here. for now ill see you guys next time.
-from the desk of seek and tell